What is the biblical difference between being Selfish, Selfless and having Self Control?

As a society, we know what it means to be selfish, but do we really know what it means to be selfless and have self control? We often think that being selfless is the highest standard that a person can achieve, but what if being selfless is actually harming you and your family? So, what is the standard that God wants us to live by? Which one of these 3 actions will bring us true peace?